A Little Story About My Brother: Family’s Struggle for Kid with Special Need
Vincencia Dian
June 20, 2016
2 Comments
It's been months since my last post in this blog and
now I come up with something a little personal. I share this story because I
think it’s ok to be different and it’s not something shamefull. No need to hide
and cover it up. We don’t choose our family, they are God’s biggest blessing in
our life. Even if one (or some) of our family member was born differently, it’s
the love that makes the family perfect at the end of the day.
My youngest brother, Teguh Andreas Hia a.k.a Bungsu has been in a boarding school for
4 years now. This boarding school is specialized for children with special
needs. Yup, you got me right, SPECIAL
NEEDS!!! My brother is perfect physically but he always has issue to communicate
with people and overcome problems. People call my borther autist, but the
psycholog we consulted before putting him to boarding school said he is not. He is somewhere between normal to autist.
I don’t know how to explain this and I won’t even bother to explain it. I don’t
care if people understand cause we’ve been through worse condition when he was
little. He never had a tantrum, never had a roller coaster emotion, he barely
cried and not even try to hurt people, but his lack of self esteem, not being able to speak at certain age, his
rambling about his imagination, his habit to isolate himself, made people called him crazy. Yup, littterally
CRAZY, they said it utterly. He was late at speaking, the sound that came out
of his throat didn’t sound like any word you know in any language. That’s why
he only spoke to his family especially me and my third brother, Ridho. Being one
of the two persons he spoke (and speaks) to the most gives me the feeling of
responsibility to keep him safe, understand and love him even more.
Love you, Dedek :*
I know that it’s not polite to barge into someone’s kitchen
without permission, but I don’t think it’s fair to yell at a child and call him
crazy for that. He might not know that people treat him unfairly and rude, but
it hurt my family, my parents, especially my mom. My brother also had trouble
keeping up with the school curriculum while in elementary school. The teachers,
books and curriculum didn’t suit him. He was always the stupidest student in
class aaannndddd...the trouble maker which I knew that he was not. His
classmates used to make fun of him for being too quiet, slow and mostly because
of his big posture. My brother spent 2 years at second grade (or third grade, I
forgot) and he stopped (or the school made him stop) at the fourth grade. No
hard feeling, I know that it was for the best. It’s still the best elementary
school in town since my brothers and I went to that school, we all graduated
and had our moments there. It’s just that the schools, teachers and curriculums
didn’t suit children like my brother. It was for the best that he was not in
that school anymore so that we could move on and sought another school for him.
The days after being expelled from school, he still woke up
in the morning and prepared for school, he didn’t know that he wasn’t obliged
to attend school anymore. My mother said to him that it’s still holiday, no
school for today. He did buy it on the first and second day, but then he knew that
my mom just made up excuses when he saw his friends with school uniform went to
school passed our house. That day he asked my mom why he was not allowed to
school but he didn’t wait for answer, he cried. His “imbecile brain” apparently
told him why. That’s the first time (well maybe not) he realized HE IS DIFFERENT. It broke my heart to
pieces when my mom told me this story. I was not in town at that time, I was in
boarding school away from home and only met my family twice a year on long
holiday.
Two years being an “unemployee”, Bungsu spent days at home
watching his favourite movies, listened to his favourite singers and wandered
around sometimes. Up until now, he knows every updates on tv, idolize K-POP
stars and tell me unending stories of every tv shows he watches. I remember
back at the day when he was so deep into Justin Bieber, I saw him eating with
left hand. I said, “ Dedek, kok makan
pake tangan kiri?tangan kananlah”, he then replied me with an unexpected and
witty answer, “Ih..kakak ini gimana sih?
Justin Bieber aja main gitar pake tangan kiri”. I never wanted to critisize
him ever since, I respect everything he did and he does and the fact that he was
even smarter, wiser and funny at the same time gave us hope that one day we
would find a school that suit him.
Long story short, we finally found a boarding school for
children with special needs. We were so gratefull and excited to enlist him
into that school. And he was even much more excited than us. Bungsu, Ridho and
I went shopping for new uniform, luggage and school supplies. My mom asked us
to take him to the shops since he always listened to us (my mom usually use us
to make him do what my mom says). It’s
not our Bungsu’s things going to the market with my mom. He detested the crowd.
But that was an exception, he was finally going to school. Yeaayy...\0/
Now, it’s been 4
years since he entered the school and has a lot of improvement in speaking,
socializing and finding his self-esteem ever since. He is now able to speak
to people other than his family, he can show excitement toward something, and
express his feeling utterly. He attended school camp and talked to me about it
like a thousand times. He draws and paints, he plays organ and violin. He won
several competition and got a role in school concert (I’m gonna talk about this
on my next post). We always love him for what he is. His beautiful face, smart
and witty twaddle and his overwhelming cuteness are all we need in our family. We
never stop thanking God for giving this bundle of joy into our family. We
accept him with all his lack but this 4 years is his best time and we were
never prouder of him.
Love you, Dedek :*
