Streetlights and Lemons
Vincencia Dian
April 09, 2017
0 Comments
It was 9 p.m in the evening and I was still busy with the report that
is due that day. There’s only me in the room, I could hear my mouse ticking. I
didn’t realize how long I had been sitting there without even lifted my a*s from
the chair. It had been dark couple hours
ago and I thought it’s already time to go home. I hit the sent button on email,
turned off my computer and grabbed my stuff. I started my motorbike, exit my office gate
and made my way to Jalan Pancasila. Just like my office, the street was almost
empty and I was exposed to the romantic ambience the streetlights make. In
small town like Gunungsitoli, anytime after 9 p.m is already midnight and there
shouldn’t be any good girl being outside. People should have labelled me“naughty”
ever since I moved here 1,5 year ago. My boyfriend always knows that I love lights
as much as the moths do. It always brings a tingling feeling in my heart
everytime I pass a full of lights road, it’s like transporting me back to the
highways of Bintaro, the square of Kota Tua, Jatinegara at night.
The night wind blew on my face and I shivered a bit. I should turn left
if I wanted to get home immediately but no, I still wanted to see the streetlights
so I decided to go straight and went for a little walk (with my motorbike). Whilst
driving, my thought wandered. I wasbrought back to the time when I was still in
Jakarta. Time does fly, it goes by before I even realize. It has been almost
two years for me being here, in my beloved hometown. So far away from the crowd
of the city, so humble yet quiet. Unlike my friends who were “forced” to leave
their families for work, I was so lucky that work sent me back here, to my
family, to my beloved ones.
Oh I love it here, words fail me. Anything I need, my mom would provide
it for me. All I need to think is work, work and work. But then, I thought that
maybe comfort is not healthy for me. I got bored with work and office quite
instant lately. I needed something new and challenging to freshen up. I didn’t
know but maybe I need campus, lecturers, classmates, books and assignments. I
knew it was crazy. Being bored with work and office, I should take a furlough,
cut me some slack and go on a holiday instead of wanting to go back to school.
I was not sure where this urge of coming back to school came. But I
thought what triggerred it wasthis letter from work I got from whatsapp group
this afternoon. It said that there was a chance of enrolling for schollarship
for us but there was a certain condition
that I and some of us couldn’t enroll while all my
colleagues could. Fyi, I’m so into getting back to school and I’m fully aware
from the beginning that there’s this rulethat I might be one year behind my
colleagues. This shouldn’t make me feel down anymore but in fact, it kinda hurt.
The fact that we were “banned” from this opportunity made me wanting more.I
inhaled deeply and a car’s horn surprised me and I once again realised that I’d
been daydreaming while driving and the car had been honking on me for quite
sometime.
I
took a glimpse of my watch and it was almost 9.45 p.m. It was time to
go home, I meant really go home this time. I turned right and made my
way to
Jalan Pasar Yaahowu. Jalan Pasar Yaahowu is always my favourite area and
it is the most beautiful at night. It is located in a seashore, so
people could
witness the fishermen boats sailing from afar. The ocean breeze and
streetlights
showered me with such a peacefull feeling and my thought wandered again.
I
imagined myself being trapped in a long dark tunnel in the middle of the
night.
I had been screaming all night long, asking for help but nobody listened
and my
throat started to sore. So I decided to use my instinct and kept
walking. I
could always choose to wait till somebody finds me here. In the
meantime, I
could cry my eyes out, moan, complain for my life. But what if nobody
really
caresabout my absence, what if nobody bothers to look for me? So ya, the
“ifs”
kept me walking. I might not sure of
what could cross my path ahead but i always believe that there’s always a light
in the end of a tunnel.
Maybe that’s what I should do with my life right now, just keep going.
Not able to do something I really want to do doesn’t mean that I can’t do
it later. Anything in life including luck has its own time. I could always feel
jealous for my friends’ luck, for the opportunity offered to them, but I would
never let the jealousy eat my soul. I am a true believer that comparing is the
thief of joy. Patience is the virtue. My time will come and I should prepare
from now on. All I need to do for now is being gratefull and always take only
the best thing from every condition. What do people always say about it?
Mmm..wait, “when life hands you a lemon,
make lemonade” that’s the saying. Well, apparently I’m pretty good at
making a damn good lemonade. And as life goes on, I’m never gonna stop being
better and better at making the lemonade
yet I am never gonna be rewarded with a certificate nor graduated from the
“lemonade making school”. I’m gonna keep squeezing those sour savoury lemons
till my hands can’t hold anything anymore, that’s when people call me dead.
I could finally see my house, the lamps of the living room were still
on. The door was still opened, my mom was still waiting for me. I parked my
motorbike and entered the house. I yawned as soon as I got into my bedroom. I
made a quick change, didn't bother to shower anymore. Ooohh..I was so tired, I
should get some rest. Random thoughts must take a lot of energy. I grabbed my
cellphone and turned off the lamp. I checked out my inbox and then texted my
boyfriend.
Nighty night, dear :*
