Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Twenties and The Quarter Life Crisis

April 25, 2018 0 Comments
It's sooo cold outside and I'm crawling in my office chair with my jacket, socks and neck pillow. Office hour is over, I could go home anytime but the weather gives me this weird feeling. That weird feeling when you realize something is off, but you have no idea what it is. It's like something is missing, but you're not sure if it really is missing or it's just something you never had.

This reminds me of the night talk I had with my friends last week. I don't know what happen to the world outside of this wall I built for myself, but all of a sudden, all my closest friends including my brother was talking about their confusion, dissatisfaction, relationship issues, how they wish everything was different and how everything pushed them to the brink of anxiety.

Well, I am no capable in consulting people with their problems.  The only way I could do was being their chat buddy, staying awake with them till 2 a.m, listening to them and telling them that everything is gonna be okay.

I myself, was struggling with anxiety last couple of months, thus I can relate to them and have empathy to what they're going through. Thank goodness I am surrounded with the love of family and the support of friends who are just one Whatsapp chat away, and suddenly I'm not alone anymore. They're my bubble. They keep me safe, untouched, unscratched.

I notice the same theme from all the stories of my friends and mine. We're in our early twenties, passionate, fascinated with happiness and success, new to our work, career and to pretty much everything. And according to my online search, and long and deep discussions with my other friend, we're in our Quarter Life Crisis!

So, what's quarter life crisis?

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/quarter-life-crisis-age-most-likely-job-work-relationships-linkedin-career-house-money-a8054616.html
What are the signs that we're having quarter life crisis?

Well, each individual has different experience and there are so many articles online listing 10 or 15 or 25 signs of quarter life crisis. But let me infer according to our experience:
  • You're so determined. You want to achieve more that's why you  become so hard on yourself, put too much pressure on yourself
  • Fearing to fail
  • You avoid expectation and disappointment
  • Your work is boring and you're not sure if you're on the right track
  • You're anxious all the time. Then, you're anxious for being anxious all the time. Multiple anxiety!
  • You're stuck between being in charge of everything in your life (cause you have trust issue) and surrendering everything to divine intervention
  • You're so sick of people telling you what to do, but you always obey, then you end up feeling trapped and betrayed
  • There's a volcano of anger inside of you and ready to erupt anytime
  • Everybody's having their life together, except you 
  • Detachment and the feeling of not fitting in
  • You avoid discussion about your personal life cause you know you're so easily irritated lately
  • You wish everything was different
  • You don't know whether you should be dating and having casual fun or looking for the one and settling down cause everybody tells you something different
  • The last thing you want in your life right now is emotional attachment cause you're afraid of getting hurt again
  • and the list goes on. 
 Who are the ones likely to "suffer" from this kind of crisis?

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-overcome-your-quarter-life-crisis-1782670670
 See? mid twenties!

Where'd you get it?
https://lifehacker.com/how-to-overcome-your-quarter-life-crisis-1782670670

 How to overcome this crisis?
https://lifehacker.com/how-to-overcome-your-quarter-life-crisis-1782670670
I couldn't agree more to what's written in the article. I write a lot when I feel down. I did this even before reading those articles about quarter life crisis. I also bought books (and still do) about anxiety and self-help. I read a lot, I even read the bible not necessarily because I'm religious but because I'm in search  of inner peace, I need to calm myself down. Both writing and reading are so therapeutic for me.

The books that I've been reading right now are "Anxious for Nothing" by Max Lucado and "The Subtle Art of  Not Giving A Fuck" by Mark Manson, and "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris is still in queue. I don't know if they would help. I don't even care if they're relevant. As I said before, I'm in search.

I also talk to people I trust, whom I know won't judge me, won't see me less normal. I love talking to my brother, Paul, and chatting with closest friends. People need to share their thought, their burden. Sometimes we don't need solution, all we need is to be heard.

So, for those who of you who can relate with this condition, you should know that you are not alone on this and it's normal to have anxiety. You don't have to be anxious for being anxious😉. Everybody's going through or at least has been through a crisis unless you're a non-achiever and not willing to elevate. Everybody is fighting their own battle other people know nothing about(that's why we should always be kind).

One day, you'll stop and look behind, "Man, I was so stressed out back then, but I made it. I came out just fine" 

Hold on, you'll get through this and everything will fall to places. 

Lots of love,
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